Observations from a female immigrant in the US!

[BlueEverglades]

Hello, I just signed up for this forum after it came up several times in google when I type in several questions about U.S culture.Even if it is a male centered forum, I as a female immigrant agree with a lot of things you guys talk about in here about male and female interactions. I was born on the Caribbean and immigrated to Florida ten years ago,many things are different obviously but some aspects of culture and socialization are more obvious than others. I did my research on the elite and the Illuminati to know their shaping and impact and all we get to see in a daily basis, basically they are the driving force behind these problems...or maybe not...I'm pretty new at all this, but these are the issues that bother me the most until now:

1. Too much emphasis on independence, competition and individuality,to the point that it creates separation, segregation and paranoid behaviors. People are focused on "winning" at all times and you quickly become the "loser" if you refuse to go by the rules placed by the elite to win and get ahead. An independent female here is someone ranging from a total aggressive bitch to someone who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Females from 18-20 are expected to move out home know what career they would want for the rest of their lives and get it together with an apartment but of course with the new founded freedom quite the opposite happens and they go directionless from guy to guy and sounding like each other with no individuality or independence at all ironically.

Personally I wouldn't like to arrive home after a long day to find an ominous silence greeting me or worse some roommate which I cringe seeing in an awkward position either with drugs, a mate or whatever people do these days. A strong family nucleolus have saved my life many times, living in one single income at this age is a recipe for trouble. I can't be that woman who's all about business and no love, I wanted a balanced life one that serves others as well....

2. Antisocialness : A result of point one, when you got a bunch of rules telling you it's all about who's best, top dog rules people will look at each other like they are enemies. In my whole 10 years of living in the U.S it was very difficult to make friends with other females. Even the Latin/foreign ones have already Americanized and are distrusting of you. I feel their thoughts are directed about their own security and your presence could threaten their career, love relationship or status because you are the stranger, you are not worth knowing.

When I lived in the Caribbean, even if you were shy you still had your small group of friends, here you just go to work/study and come back home without anyone to truly care about your day. Most of the time online interactions can help, yet it doesn't really fulfill anything and if you do open yourself to the current culture if you don't smoke, drink, party every weekend or sleep around you are going to be left out by default and I don't do any of these things. I love to keep my body, mind and spirit as healthy as it can and what it's deemed as entertainment does not bring satisfaction at the end.

People walking in the streets prefer to be glued to their electronic devices than look at anyone else face for more than 2 seconds. Single Men and women in a natural casual setting do not even bother trying to catch each other's sight or flirt (I'm guessing harassment laws have a lot to do with it, but it's still pretty ridiculous, why would I feel harassed if a guys tells me he thinks I'm pretty or hot?)This shouldn't be a surprise, according to the book "The Lonely American" one out of four Americans talked to no one about something of importance to them during the last six months. Another remarkable fact emerged from the 2000 U.S. Census: more people are living alone today than at any point in the country's history


You are basically alone from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep if you don't take active steps to socialize....

3. Sloppy/ slutty fashion sense that leaves me wondering if it's better if they just came to the streets naked already. Casual dressing still covers the essentials, sloppy makes them look like they roll out of their bed without a care in the world. In one of my classes a girl shows up with a pair of shorts so short that when she sit down you could see half of her butt peering out the chair.

4. Guys are pretty numbed out or burned out, I can tell....I hear a lot of them referring to women as "bitches" or other derogatory terms, some have had it and some are about to find out that everything has in fact gotten more difficult for both genders. The attitude of American women overall it's pretty ugly and manly, I do not care to compete with a bunch of guys to prove that I am capable, nor do I want to be "one of the guys" just to fit in. I want to be the woman I was born to be without having a bunch of angry feminists looking down on me for doing what it's more natural to me, nor will I apologize but if you choose this path loneliness and segregation will come over you as a way of weeding us out....

Honestly like many of you, I would move out to another country if I had the chance but it's not so easy, are there other females in this forum that can relate? You as a man believe anything is going to change or only get worse?

[Teal Lantern]

Socially, it will get worse and worse until the welfare & transfer payment system collapses.

[AmericanInMexico]

Hello there BlueEverglades,

It is interesting that a female immigrant and a male American come to the exact same conclusion. I agree with everything you posted, especially the part about harassment laws. I could handle people wanting to stick to themselves when I still lived full-time in the United States. What I could not handle was the women running to the authorities over every little innocent comment. I once got thrown out of an Abercrombie store simply because I asked a female employee to go out with me; the boss (a total white knight) threw me out of the store claiming I was making the girls feel uncomfortable. I thought to myself, "is there ANY socially acceptable place to meet women at all?"

Thus on my first trip to Mexico in 2005 I was shocked at how none of this existed. Women were open to being met everywhere and no one tried to claim I was "harassing" a woman simply for asking her to go out with me. I also was shocked that almost no Mexican women wore pajamas in public, had super-short hair, or hated wearing skirts and dresses. American women might wear a skirt or dress once a year if that. Mexican women on the other hand usually wear them at least once a week (if not more).

What I'm about to tell you might offend you, but here on Happier Abroad you will always be taken less seriously due to being a woman. That's just the way it is and I wanted to be the first to warn you. The reason is simple: women in the United States have a much easier life than men. Women are not constantly in danger of being called "creeps" or threatened with the law like men are. Women have the power in the United States to divorce a man and take half of what he owns, even if she did nothing to help him earn it. Women have the ability to call 911 and have their husbands arrested simply because he yelled at her (he doesn't even need to hit her). And to top it off, women in the United States can be ugly, fat, dress like a bum, and in their 40s and still get hit on by 20-something good-looking men who are in shape and dress nicely, simply because approachable feminine women in their 20s who aren't fat are a rarity. I find it hilarious how here in Mexico, the American women I know who live here don't even compare to the Mexican women.

I will not attack you for being a female posting here, but other users may. Be prepared and all the best.

[ladislav]

The picture you have presented is not how the world sees the US and Americans at all. People around the world do not ever describe Americans like this, The image is- "Oh, Americans", And an endearing smile appears. Those warm, friendly people. Swaggering informally, giving each other hi fives. Open, intelligent. Sociable and informal. Free. Unlike us who are so repressed and formal and so un-free.
First time I went to the Philippines and ended up in the countryside, I would hear "Hey Joe!"- the shouts of joy and admiration, hands waving and people treating me like a demi God. I would sometimes see a face looking at me, eyes lit up and lips murmuring- Americano! Americano! Like she was praying to a god.
No one outside of the US ever describes Americans the way you do. But again , most of them have never been here.

[Ginger]

[Andrewww]

Well said, I'm surprised to hear this from a woman. This forum can be misogynistic at times but I hope you understand that many people are frustrated with the North American way of life. There is really no solution but to live with it or move out.

And yes, Western women are the equivalent of men with boobs. They act exactly the same way and are competitive to a point that even amongst themselves they cannot cooperate.

[Ginger]

[Tsar]

I'm experiencing the effects caused by feminism. I'm a young man in college and I find it impossible to make a single friend. No one within my generation even pays me any attention. On the attractive scale I would be between a seven or eight which makes me attractive. I'm intelligent. I have many talents. Here in America everything I am and have to offer in a relationship is worth nothing to girls. I hope when I go overseas I can easily attract young woman and experience the difference many talk about.

[BlueEverglades]

Hello there BlueEverglades,

It is interesting that a female immigrant and a male American come to the exact same conclusion. I agree with everything you posted, especially the part about harassment laws. I could handle people wanting to stick to themselves when I still lived full-time in the United States. What I could not handle was the women running to the authorities over every little innocent comment. I once got thrown out of an Abercrombie store simply because I asked a female employee to go out with me; the boss (a total white knight) threw me out of the store claiming I was making the girls feel uncomfortable. I thought to myself, "is there ANY socially acceptable place to meet women at all?"

Thus on my first trip to Mexico in 2005 I was shocked at how none of this existed. Women were open to being met everywhere and no one tried to claim I was "harassing" a woman simply for asking her to go out with me. I also was shocked that almost no Mexican women wore pajamas in public, had super-short hair, or hated wearing skirts and dresses. American women might wear a skirt or dress once a year if that. Mexican women on the other hand usually wear them at least once a week (if not more).

What I'm about to tell you might offend you, but here on Happier Abroad you will always be taken less seriously due to being a woman. That's just the way it is and I wanted to be the first to warn you. The reason is simple: women in the United States have a much easier life than men. Women are not constantly in danger of being called "creeps" or threatened with the law like men are. Women have the power in the United States to divorce a man and take half of what he owns, even if she did nothing to help him earn it. Women have the ability to call 911 and have their husbands arrested simply because he yelled at her (he doesn't even need to hit her). And to top it off, women in the United States can be ugly, fat, dress like a bum, and in their 40s and still get hit on by 20-something good-looking men who are in shape and dress nicely, simply because approachable feminine women in their 20s who aren't fat are a rarity. I find it hilarious how here in Mexico, the American women I know who live here don't even compare to the Mexican women.

I will not attack you for being a female posting here, but other users may. Be prepared and all the best.

Ok I know this is a super late reply but I couldn't hold back, I still hold the same views as a female immigrant , in fact I think it has gotten worse. If you are a female who just came to this country you will start to notice the change if people's questions and expectations of your status to a more male oriented nature. Questions like do you have a car/house yet? When will you graduate and start making money? we women become mere producers and competitors with little to relate to each other than work or totally male oriented goals, and more than anything you are expected to do it ALONE, we are praised for starting a business ALONE, living ALONE, coming up with a great scheme where we don't need anybody and thus female power is expressed in a total mess of loneliness.

Friends move on after high school/college , your group is reduced to just you, someone else and the whole world. Women my age (mid-twenties) are extremely immature and just encourage slutty behavior over finding someone of value. You barely hear anything concerning marriage or a serious relationship until they are too old and dried up to start a family, this is why I don't try to make female friends anymore , it seems that most of them are a bad influence.

I have also noticed when watching passengers inside cars that there's only one person (the driver) even when more family members can hop in to save gas (if they happen to go to nearby places) , independence is more highly valued and thus everyone must have their car, so why not produced 2 seats cars if the back is always going to be empty? Seriously...

[abcdavid01]

Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes I just need the inspiration. I want to do better by my future children ad raise them in a normal society.

[BlueEverglades]

Thank you so much for posting this. Sometimes I just need the inspiration. I want to do better by my future children ad raise them in a normal society.

Good for you, then start taking action as soon as you can and whatever you do stay away from Florida, are there any other females who are absolutely fed up like me? Im really at my wits end here...

[DistanceRunner]

Hello, I just signed up for this forum after it came up several times in google when I type in several questions about U.S culture.Even if it is a male centered forum, I as a female immigrant agree with a lot of things you guys talk about in here about male and female interactions. I was born on the Caribbean and immigrated to Florida ten years ago,many things are different obviously but some aspects of culture and socialization are more obvious than others. I did my research on the elite and the Illuminati to know their shaping and impact and all we get to see in a daily basis, basically they are the driving force behind these problems...or maybe not...I'm pretty new at all this, but these are the issues that bother me the most until now:

1. Too much emphasis on independence, competition and individuality,to the point that it creates separation, segregation and paranoid behaviors. People are focused on "winning" at all times and you quickly become the "loser" if you refuse to go by the rules placed by the elite to win and get ahead. An independent female here is someone ranging from a total aggressive bitch to someone who doesn't care about anyone but herself. Females from 18-20 are expected to move out home know what career they would want for the rest of their lives and get it together with an apartment but of course with the new founded freedom quite the opposite happens and they go directionless from guy to guy and sounding like each other with no individuality or independence at all ironically.

Personally I wouldn't like to arrive home after a long day to find an ominous silence greeting me or worse some roommate which I cringe seeing in an awkward position either with drugs, a mate or whatever people do these days. A strong family nucleolus have saved my life many times, living in one single income at this age is a recipe for trouble. I can't be that woman who's all about business and no love, I wanted a balanced life one that serves others as well....

2. Antisocialness : A result of point one, when you got a bunch of rules telling you it's all about who's best, top dog rules people will look at each other like they are enemies. In my whole 10 years of living in the U.S it was very difficult to make friends with other females. Even the Latin/foreign ones have already Americanized and are distrusting of you. I feel their thoughts are directed about their own security and your presence could threaten their career, love relationship or status because you are the stranger, you are not worth knowing.

When I lived in the Caribbean, even if you were shy you still had your small group of friends, here you just go to work/study and come back home without anyone to truly care about your day. Most of the time online interactions can help, yet it doesn't really fulfill anything and if you do open yourself to the current culture if you don't smoke, drink, party every weekend or sleep around you are going to be left out by default and I don't do any of these things. I love to keep my body, mind and spirit as healthy as it can and what it's deemed as entertainment does not bring satisfaction at the end.

People walking in the streets prefer to be glued to their electronic devices than look at anyone else face for more than 2 seconds. Single Men and women in a natural casual setting do not even bother trying to catch each other's sight or flirt (I'm guessing harassment laws have a lot to do with it, but it's still pretty ridiculous, why would I feel harassed if a guys tells me he thinks I'm pretty or hot?)This shouldn't be a surprise, according to the book "The Lonely American" one out of four Americans talked to no one about something of importance to them during the last six months. Another remarkable fact emerged from the 2000 U.S. Census: more people are living alone today than at any point in the country's history


You are basically alone from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep if you don't take active steps to socialize....

3. Sloppy/ slutty fashion sense that leaves me wondering if it's better if they just came to the streets naked already. Casual dressing still covers the essentials, sloppy makes them look like they roll out of their bed without a care in the world. In one of my classes a girl shows up with a pair of shorts so short that when she sit down you could see half of her butt peering out the chair.

4. Guys are pretty numbed out or burned out, I can tell....I hear a lot of them referring to women as "bitches" or other derogatory terms, some have had it and some are about to find out that everything has in fact gotten more difficult for both genders. The attitude of American women overall it's pretty ugly and manly, I do not care to compete with a bunch of guys to prove that I am capable, nor do I want to be "one of the guys" just to fit in. I want to be the woman I was born to be without having a bunch of angry feminists looking down on me for doing what it's more natural to me, nor will I apologize but if you choose this path loneliness and segregation will come over you as a way of weeding us out....

Honestly like many of you, I would move out to another country if I had the chance but it's not so easy, are there other females in this forum that can relate? You as a man believe anything is going to change or only get worse?

How did I miss this post?! I wanted to let you know that I'm from the Caribbean too. I'm from the Port of Spain area in Trinidad and Tobago.


1. Too much emphasis on independence,competition and individuality,to the point that it creates separation, segregation and paranoid behaviors.

I realized this with my father's divorce from my mother. All of us have caribbean heritage. We moved to America as well, just like what you did. He was the one who was too individualized with what he wanted to do and how it negatively affects our family stability. I don't want to go into that though. I also realize that we're too "competitive" in a sense in America also, especially in the area of athletics and competition. (myself included)

2. Antisocialness : A result of point one, when you got a bunch of rules telling you it's all about who's best, top dog rules people will look at each other like they are enemies. In my whole 10 years of living in the U.S it was very difficult to make friends with other females. Even the Latin/foreign ones have already Americanized and are distrusting of you. I feel their thoughts are directed about their own security and your presence could threaten their career, love relationship or status because you are the stranger, you are not worth knowing.

When I lived in the Caribbean, even if you were shy you still had your small group of friends, here you just go to work/study and come back home without anyone to truly care about your day. Most of the time online interactions can help, yet it doesn't really fulfill anything and if you do open yourself to the current culture if you don't smoke, drink, party every weekend or sleep around you are going to be left out by default and I don't do any of these things. I love to keep my body, mind and spirit as healthy as it can and what it's deemed as entertainment does not bring satisfaction at the end.

At my university, I've had a slightly different experience. It was somewhat easier to make friends, but they were through classroom settings or groups. Another way of being able to meet people is through Meetup.com. I found that I had some social mobility, but I had to meet people "through" that interface, then meet them in person. Only in that instance is where it felt "natural" for me to socialize with other people.

4. Guys are pretty numbed out or burned out, I can tell....I hear a lot of them referring to women as "bitches" or other derogatory terms, some have had it and some are about to find out that everything has in fact gotten more difficult for both genders. The attitude of American women overall it's pretty ugly and manly, I do not care to compete with a bunch of guys to prove that I am capable, nor do I want to be "one of the guys" just to fit in. I want to be the woman I was born to be without having a bunch of angry feminists looking down on me for doing what it's more natural to me, nor will I apologize but if you choose this path loneliness and segregation will come over you as a way of weeding us out....

I wonder if this has to do with many Americans suddenly being interested in gay marriage compared to heterosexual marriage?

[ladislav]

America has its purpose on earth which is business, military and any kind of organization- education, bank legal etc.
Everything runs very smooth.


If you believe the Hollywood dream that everything is available in the US, then you will be disappointed. But if you view America as only one of the countries in your bouquet, then you will be all right.

[Teal Lantern]

[jamesbond]

I once got thrown out of an Abercrombie store simply because I asked a female employee to go out with me; the boss (a total white knight) threw me out of the store claiming I was making the girls feel uncomfortable. I thought to myself, "is there ANY socially acceptable place to meet women at all?"

The only socially acceptable place to approach women in the USA is bars and nightclubs. For some reason, in America approaching women in bookstores, grocery stores and retail stores is not socially accepted.

Thus on my first trip to Mexico in 2005 I was shocked at how none of this existed. Women were open to being met everywhere and no one tried to claim I was "harassing" a woman simply for asking her to go out with me. I also was shocked that almost no Mexican women wore pajamas in public, had super-short hair, or hated wearing skirts and dresses.

That sounds great! Being able to meet women anywhere and not just at bars and nightclubs. This is the exact opposite of how things are in the USA.

Women in the United States have a much easier life than men. Women are not constantly in danger of being called "creeps" or threatened with the law like men are. Women have the power in the United States to divorce a man and take half of what he owns, even if she did nothing to help him earn it. Women have the ability to call 911 and have their husbands arrested simply because he yelled at her (he doesn't even need to hit her). And to top it off, women in the United States can be ugly, fat, dress like a bum, and in their 40s and still get hit on by 20-something good-looking men who are in shape and dress nicely, simply because approachable feminine women in their 20s who aren't fat are a rarity.

This is all true! Women in America are treated like queens and yet they still complain about "not being equal with men." I do sometimes see women in their 40's who are fat and ugly dating good looking guys who are in their 20's! WTF?